Grief and loss
You knew them. You held them, or you would have. The loss of a baby after birth is a grief that the world rarely knows how to approach, and that can leave you profoundly alone.
When a baby dies in the days or weeks after birth, the loss is layered. You may have had days of hope, of fear, of being suspended between two possible futures. You knew who they were. You may have photographs, a name, tiny specific memories that belong only to you. This is not an abstraction. It is the loss of a particular person.
And yet the world often doesn't know how to receive it. People don't know whether to say the baby's name. They ask how you're doing and mean: are you functional. The gap between what you're experiencing and what people are able to meet can become enormous.
Some friends disappear after infant loss. Not because they don't care, but because they're afraid of saying the wrong thing and end up saying nothing. This absence, in the middle of the most difficult period of your life, can feel like a second loss — a discovery of who is able to be present with hard things, and who isn't.
You may find yourself managing their discomfort — reassuring people that you're "doing okay" because you can see they need to hear it. This puts you in the impossible position of performing recovery for an audience while the actual grief goes unexpressed.
Mindfuse is an anonymous voice call with a real person. You don't have to protect anyone's feelings. You can say their name, describe what you remember, say the hard things without softening them. No account, no history, no way for this conversation to affect your relationships. First conversation free. €4/month. iOS and Android.
Anonymous voice. Real person. No account needed. No history kept.
One free conversation · €4/month · iOS and Android